


Tumblr Fragments

by firefly_quill



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Cute Animals, Drabble Collection, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Puppies, Rating May Change, discussion on sexual topics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-03-07 01:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13423539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firefly_quill/pseuds/firefly_quill
Summary: Odds and ends that have previously been posted on Tumblr.Chapter 1: Hanzo has a thing for cute, fluffy animals (fluff)Chapter 2: Jesse's room is full of kitsch. He is worried for the day that Hanzo asks to see it (fluff)Chapter 3: Pokemon AU (cute)Chapter 4: Soulmates AU (part of AUgust, Day 1)Chapter 5: College AU (Part of AUgust, Day 2)Chapter 6: Single Parent AU (part of AUgust, Day 3)Chapter 7: Mer AU (Part of AUgust, Day 11)Chapter 8: Fake Dating "AU" (AUgust, Day 13)





	1. Soft (Parts 1 & 2)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> Here are some fragments that I've previously posted on Tumblr. Hopefully you will enjoy them :)  
> This was one inspired by the lovely Niqui! <3

The first time it happened, it was nothing special. Or, rather, it would have been nothing special had it been any other member of Overwatch. Even Morrison had grown up with a few pets on the farm.

But no, the first time Jesse saw Hanzo Shimada interact with a dog, McCree had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

They had been fighting a particularly aggressive troop of omnics that had been hell bent on destroying everything in their path. While Jesse’s team was doing their best to reduce damage, there was only so much they could do, with machine gun fire coming at them from all directions.

Which was why the event was even more remarkable than it should have been, perhaps. Of course, Hanzo never did anything in Jesse’s opinion that was not remarkable. Then again, it’s not every day that the archer launches himself from his sniper’s perch into a tactical roll initiated from 10 feet in the air, to wrap himself around a trembling ball of fluff.

“What? Oh fuck—for fucks sake, brother!” Genji had moaned over the comm before sweeping in to deflect enemy fire just a foot away from Hanzo. The archer had glared at Genji defensively before they both leapt out of the way with matching grace.

Hanzo had climbed a wall to a new vantage point. In retrospect, Jesse recalled the front of his garment being puffed up more than usual.

Several hours later, when the battle was finally done, the cyborg ninja had fallen into step with McCree, grumbling in two languages.

“What was that about?” Jesse asked.

“My brother, as usual, having no regard for his own life,” Genji muttered.

They arrived at the dropship to find their teammates crouched in front. When they got closer, they realized that Hanzo was in the centre of his group, still cuddling the tiny, fluffy white dog in the arm that was not in the new sling that Mercy must have just fashioned for him.

“Was it worth it, brother?” Genji asked flatly.

Lena, Angela, Reinhardt and Hanzo turned up to shoot him a withering glare.

McCree snorted. The puppy whined.

Genji threw his hands up, and crouched down as well to scratch the dog behind the ears.

\--- 

At least when it happened again, Hanzo had the decency to wait until *after* the battle was finished. They were in Wisconsin taking down a dairy farm that had been a front for Talon operations (it was, admittedly, the last place they would have checked, were it not for the anonymous intel). The team was sweeping the premises to confiscate the last of the equipment, when Jesse noticed that Hanzo had disappeared. 

“Eyes on the archer?” He asked over the comm, with some concern. What if they hadn’t cleaned out the base after all?

His team took a moment to look around, but the answer was unanimously negative. 

“Wait. Are there *actually* animals on site?” Genji asked.

“Yes. In the barn in the back,” Winston answered.

There was some static, as Genji’s long, drawn-out sigh was caught by the mic. “Try there, McCree.” 

“Roger.” 

Jesse hurried to comply. He opened the barn door slowly to find Hanzo sitting on a pile of hay, a fluffy brown calf lying in his lap. Lena and Hana were already on scene, likely having figured out that Hanzo had a knack for finding the cutest animals. 

Hanzo was scratching the calf behind one soft floppy ear, as he looked down at the creature with a look of pure adoration. Jesse couldn’t have stopped the fond grin that spread over his own features if he tried. 

Later that evening, they decided to watch a movie to unwind. Jesse was lying happily in Hanzo’s lap, as his partner pet at his hair. 

“Soft,” Hanzo mumbled, barely audible. 

Jesse started as he made a connection he’d not seen before. Hanzo’s hand stilled, and he pressed at Jesse’s chin until their eyes met so that Hanzo could gauge whether something had upset McCree. 

Jesse grinned up at him playfully. 

“Moo.” 

That earned him a punch to the chest. 

Jesse attacked Hanzo with a flurry of kisses to beg for forgiveness.


	2. Kitsch (McHanzo Fluff)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on the prompt: "Kitsch is the inability to admit that shit exists" (Milan Kundera). 
> 
> Cute fluff.
> 
> Jesse McCree lived in fear of the day that Hanzo might ask to see his room. It looked exactly how one might imagine: filled to the brim with useless knick-knacks. A fluorescent red “Route 66” sign on a spare wall, a poster of Clint Eastwood on the other, a cactus pillow, an entire parade of tiny succulents lined his windowsill. The problem was that McCree hadn’t even purchased most of these ornaments himself. They were gifts from his friends, which, given the cowboy’s penchant for sentimentality, meant that they were impossible to throw away. His friends then had the gall to turn around and give him a hard time about it. The few times they had seen his room, they had teased him relentlessly about his décor.

Jesse McCree lived in fear of the day that Hanzo might ask to see his room. It looked exactly how one might imagine: filled to the brim with useless knick-knacks. A fluorescent red “Route 66” sign on a spare wall, a poster of Clint Eastwood on the other, a cactus pillow, an entire parade of tiny succulents lined his windowsill. The problem was that McCree hadn’t even purchased most of these ornaments himself. They were gifts from his friends, which, given the cowboy’s penchant for sentimentality, meant that they were impossible to throw away. His friends then had the gall to turn around and give him a hard time about it. The few times they had seen his room, they had teased him relentlessly about his décor. 

“It’s kitsch,” he had tried weakly, not wanting to point out that the sexy cowboy pinup had been a gift from Genji.

“They say that ‘kitsch is the inability to admit that shit exists,’” Genji had smirked in reply, the little shit.

When Hanzo had admitted to reciprocating his feelings, Jesse had been stunned, mostly because he couldn’t understand why such a refined, elegant lord of a man could ever love someone like him. His second reaction was panic: this mutual confession meant that sex was very likely forthcoming, and while Jesse was very amenable to this idea, he was less amenable to the possibility of Hanzo wanting to do it in his room. Hell, he wasn’t even sure how he’d avoided inviting Hanzo over for so long: they had been friends for a year, good friends for several months, and something more for over several weeks now. Jesse had always managed to find an excuse: it was more comfortable snuggling on the couch in the common room, dinner and drinks were far more romantic underneath the stars, there were far more interesting things in the world than the 300 square feet that Jesse counted as his domain.

But it finally happened one evening, as they were kissing heatedly despite the crisp winter breeze.

“Take me to bed, cowboy,” Hanzo murmured against his lips. Jesse had gone completely stiff right then and there in more ways than one. Hanzo pulled back, sensing his hesitation as well as his arousal.

“Is something wrong?” He inquired with a frown.

“Naw, nothin’ at all, sweetpea,” Jesse had stammered.

It had been the most unconvincing lie Jesse McCree had ever told in his life, and he’d told his fair share of lies.

Hanzo pulled back, sitting with his legs folded beneath him, still straddling Jesse’s torso. His previous expression of adoration was giving way to uncertainty and self-doubt, and Jesse’s heart couldn’t take it.

“Hey,” He took both of Hanzo’s hands in his own and kissed each gently. “I’m sorry, I want this, you have no idea how much. It’s just…my room.”

“Your room,” Hanzo repeated flatly.

Jesse felt his face flush with something other than arousal. “It’s…well…full of shit.”

Hanzo blinked at him like he did not understand.

“I mean, it’s not really a place where I’d wanna take someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” Hanzo’s frown deepened.

“Someone so…”

_Elegant, refined…_

“…beautiful,” Jesse blurted out instead.

Hanzo’s expression softened. He leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Jesse’s lips. “You worry needlessly.”

Jesse melted, defenseless against the sweetness of the touch. He almost didn’t notice that Hanzo was standing until he began to pull at McCree’s hand.

“Come. Show me.”

A look of pure panic must have fluttered across Jesse’s face, as Hanzo began to laugh.

“Alright,” he conceded. “Then let us retire to my room. Surely you would not object to continuing there?” Hanzo’s voice grew deep with suggestiveness. Jesse scrambled to his feet as though his life depended on it and took Hanzo’s hand with a goofy grin.

They practically ran towards Hanzo’s room, giddy as teenagers. Hanzo stopped him as they reached the door by pressing a hand to Jesse’s chest. The next kiss pressed Jesse firmly against the wall, and Jesse hummed into it as Hanzo pressed the code to his door without looking. They slid towards the door, and Jesse backed Hanzo into the room, focused only on the solid, warm body in front of him.

Until Hanzo flicked the light on.

Jesse made an odd gurgling sound and backed out of the kiss.

Hanzo’s room was a Pachmari shrine.

He had Pachmari bedsheets, Pachmari figurines, a large Pachmari plush was staring at Jesse from the centre of Hanzo’s bed. A set of Pachmari fairy lights were pinned along the ceiling, and Jesse was pretty sure that he saw a set of Pachmari pajamas folded neatly on the floor. Jesse’s jaw dropped.

“So you see, Jesse,” Hanzo’s eyes were bright with amusement. “Truly, you worry needlessly.”

“I am so in love with you,” Jesse murmured in awe, finally turning his attention back to Hanzo.

“As am I with you, cowboy,” Hanzo’s smile was alit with adoration, as though Jesse were the only thing that mattered in the world. Hanzo brushed the Pachmari plush onto the floor as they fell onto the bed together, and it gave an indignant “squeak” as it fell.


	3. The Very Best (Pokemon AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse challenges Hanzo to a Pokemon battle in an attempt to get his attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> This is inspired by cuteskitty's [amazing fanart](http://cuteskitty.tumblr.com/post/171604752969/and-here-it-is-the-picture-i-did-for) and [headcanons](http://cuteskitty.tumblr.com/post/171707396289/please-tell-us-all-of-your-pok%C3%A9monau-head-canons) about a Pokemon/Overwatch AU. The piece is one of my favourite things in the world, so please go have a look and send it some love! Comments are cherished and appreciated!

“It’s not going to work.”

McCree turned from his collection of pokeballs to give Genji his most disarming smile.

“Don’t know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout, pardner.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, and it’s not going to work.” Genji crossed his arms.

“Look, if you mean this friendly competition your brother has agreed to–”

“You gave him a direct challenge. The heir to a yakuza clan does not turn down a direct challenge. You _forced_ him agree to it.”

Genji’s voice was brittle, breaking at the edges, suggesting his agitation.

“That was the point,” Jesse confirmed with a smug grin.

“You wanted to impress him, and it’s not going to work.”

“Because of his top notch Pokémon? His expert training? I reckon a man of your brother’s caliber must—”

“No,” Genji interrupted with a small twitch before Jesse could finish describing his fantasy. “Because he only has one Pokémon. And it’s a magikarp.”

“…a what now?”

“My brother thought Pokémon battles to be frivolous,” Genji advanced a step. “He resented that other leaders required their Pokémon’s help. He has only ever raised that damn fish that he got one year at the tanabata festival as a pet. He has refused all others. And now your have forced him to battle you with magikarp as a matter of pride because your dick works faster than your brain.”

“… Oh shit.”

“Fix it.” Genji’s voice cracked, as though his voice program was failing to render an emotion Jesse hadn’t heard since their Blackwatch days. He knew better than to disagree.

—

But of course, he couldn’t fix it. Hanzo refused to back down from the challenge. Besides, news of it had already spread throughout the base. An hour later, all available personnel had crowded in the training room, forming a circle around the replicated Pokémon stadium. Genji was sitting in the front row, sharpening his sword while maintaining eye to visor contact with McCree. Jesse swallowed hard.

Hanzo was frowning in front of him, a single pokeball in his hand.

Jesse wondered which of his options would be least likely to lead to Hanzo’s humiliation in front of a team he just begrudgingly agreed to join a few weeks ago (because that would very likely lead to Genji filleting him). He decided to go full throttle—that way, when Hanzo lost, they could both attribute it to Jesse’s skill, and not Hanzo’s lack thereof. Jesse wound his arm back, hoping that this was the right decision.

“I choose you—Mudsdale!”

In a whirl of dust that caused everyone in the front row to take a step back, Jesse’s mudsdale stomped out from the pokeball. She kicked up dirt as she rose upwards with an long neigh and stretched her legs. She doubled back, so that she could nuzzle the side of Jesse’s face, and left a trail of muck along his cheeks while doing so.

Jesse chuckled, reaching up to pat her on the nose. “Thatta girl.”

He looked up to find Hanzo evaluating the pair of them with something that might have resembled appreciation. Jesse didn’t have time to decipher it, as he was too distracted by the sound of Genji’s sword striking his whet stone. He gulped.

“We don’t gotta do this ya know.”

“Hn,” Hanzo snorted. “I will hear no excuses. Remember though, you are the one who challenged me.”

That didn’t really sound like someone who thought he was going to lose. Jesse began to wonder whether Hanzo was delusional enough to think that he could win any battle with his giant fish, when he got distracted by Hanzo winding his muscular arm and torso back to release his own pokeball.

“I choose you,” Hanzo declared grandly. “Gyarados.”

The sky was split open by a flash of lightning just as his pokeball opened, and everyone except Hanzo shielded their eyes. The air smelled faintly of ozone and there was a deafening roar as something large and blue took to the sky.

Jesse heard Genji’s sword fall to the ground.

“Holy shit,” The ninja muttered.

“Holy shit,” Jesse echoed, as his eyes rose to regard the huge blue dragon towering over him.

His mudsdale gave a long grunt, which Jesse understood as a similar sentiment.

“I thought that useless thing was going to be a fish forever,” Genji mused.

Hanzo’s gyarados gave a furious roar in response, and dove to land hard on the ground in front of Genji to glare at him.

“Such little faith,” Hanzo snorted. He gave a short whistle and gyarados returned to him obediently, dipping his head down for a head pet. “Not that I wouldn’t have been happy had he chosen to do so,” he cooed. _Cooed._

Jesse wondered whether he had passed out and was now dreaming.

“He evolved on my last visit to Hanamura.” Hanzo continued to scratch under his dragon’s chin, and gyarados rumbled a purr. “I had come to say goodbye, and he insisted on coming with me here. He knew this was the safest way to do so.”

“Brother…”

Hanzo looked up, not realizing before that he had spoken out loud, perhaps.

“I am glad that your are both here.” Genji’s voice had softened, and the teasing tone was gone.

Both master and Pokémon huffed in a similar manner, embarrassed.

“Enough,” Hanzo waved a hand. “I promised you a battle, McCree.”

Gyarados snorted and turned his huge head. While most Pokémon would be sizing up the opposing Pokémon, his eyes were narrowed at Jesse himself. Jesse would have swallowed again, had his throat not run dry.

Hanzo’s eyes were narrowed at him in a similar manner, and Jesse could have sworn he had been struck by that same lightning from earlier, as it burned straight down to his core.

“Let us begin.”

—

His mudsdale fought valiantly, but finally fell down hard, exhausted.

“Aww, it’s alright, girl,” Jesse rubbed her flank as she grumbled into the floor. “You put up a good fight.”

“She did indeed,” Hanzo agreed. Jesse looked up to find the man standing above him, hand extended. “Impressive.”

Jesse beamed, and took what was offered. Hanzo scrunched his nose as his hand was covered in dirt after helping McCree up, but did not pull away.

“Next time, to save your Pokémon’s strength, however, you might consider just asking me out for dinner,” he added wryly.

“Would you have accepted?” Jesse asked immediately.

Hanzo only flashed him a smirk, before turning to accept the congratulations from the other team members.

His gyarados, however, continued to stare at Jesse.

“Howdy,” Jesse offered, extending a hand forward. He was glad that it was his metal hand, as gyarados responded by darting forward to chomp down on his fingers.

“Gyarados,” Hanzo turned again to scold.

“Naw, we’re just playin’ around,” Jesse gave a shaky laugh. He pulled his arm back, but his fingers were firmly stuck in the dragon’s mouth. Hanzo barked at his Pokémon in Japanese and the dragon let go reluctantly to return closer to his master’s side, not breaking eye contact until he finally had to.

“My brother spoiled magikarp rotten,” Genji chuckled from behind Jesse. “I doubt that gyarados will take well to competition for his affection.”

“I’ll just have to do my best to spoil them both then,” Jesse answered with an easy smile.

From the floor, his mudsdale echoed Genji’s elongated groan.


	4. AUgust Day 1: Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmates AU where items belonging to your soulmate are randomly transported to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, 
> 
> I'm sorry it's been so long since I have posted! I am currently working on a list of AU prompts from [this post](https://lnc2.tumblr.com/post/174925809860/au-yeah-august). These will be a bit messier than usual: in general they've been written during the late hours of the evening, which is not ideal :P
> 
> I hope that you will enjoy them! <3

It began as it almost always did, with a single black sock.

A useless grocery store magazine survey (Hanzo only briefly glanced over the headline, as such things didn’t interest him, of course) had found that 37% of their readers reported the first thing that had been magically and mysteriously transported to them from their soulmate had been a sock. The magazine had speculated that this might simply be a matter of statistics: most people had a significant number of this item (not that Hanzo had opened the magazine to find out these details, of course).

Hanzo picked the sock up gingerly, and was relieved to find that it was at least clean. He was not surprised but was disappointed to discover that it likely belonged to a man, knowing that his role in his family would never allow him to be with one.

Not that he thought of it often, of course.

Not that it hurt.

Over the years, other odds and ends began to appear, and Hanzo did his best to hide them. There were random keys, empty bullet casings, old lighters with silly cowboy designs.

He would open the box where he kept these items late in the evenings, alone in his room, and he would speculate on the life that his soulmate led. The items together made no sense–they were an abstract collection of a context he did not understand.

Then, after a few years, the items changed, and almost seemed to be chosen with purpose: a red flower, a plush pony, a key chain with a cactus that did not have a key on it. They started to seem like gifts.

Hanzo began to wonder what *he* was leaving for his soulmate, and considered whether this too could be controlled. He found a small blue dragon pin at a toy shop and bought it on a whim. That evening, he held it tightly, willing it to go. When he opened his hand, it was gone.

He sent his soulmate the arrow head of the first bullseye he hit, a piece of ribbon that had once held his hair. Now, at night, in addition to wondering about the man his soulmate was, he began to think about the man his soulmate thought him to be.

After he had killed his brother, after he fled, there was precious little that he took with him, but he could not bear to let go of the box. He would have to leave some things behind when the contents no longer fit, and each time he would agonize over the decision.

While his soulmate never stopped sending gifts, Hanzo did not think to send anything again until he was preparing to leave for Gibraltar —he did not feel worthy to do so.

After his hair was cut, and the last piercing was done, he purchased an extra stud, and held it reverently in his hand until he felt it go. It was time to start again, and he wanted to show his soulmate he was ready to do so.

When he returned to his hotel bed, he immediately found a small square of red fabric that had been hastily cut. He held it in wonder, recognizing it for what it said— _I hear you. I’m here for you still._

And when Hanzo stepped off the plane Overwatch had sent for him, and saw that same red fabric fluttering behind the cowboy with the six-shooter holstered at his side, the cowboy whose eyes glistened with tears the minute Hanzo had come into view, and who started running towards him the minute they looked at each other and just knew, Hanzo knew that they would be there for each other always.


	5. AUgust Day 2: College

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College AU where Hanzo has returned to college a little later in life, and Jesse is his TA in a photography class (I realize that these classes don’t usually have TAs, but let’s just pretend they do…)
> 
>  
> 
> [Original Prompt List](https://lnc2.tumblr.com/post/174925809860/au-yeah-august)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> College AU isn't my thing, but this was a fun experiment!  
> I am up to Day 4 of AU August [on my tumblr](https://fireflyquill.tumblr.com/post/176700158259/august-day-4-enemy), but have taken a bit of a hiatus to focus on work and another story that will be posted later this month. Let me know if you have suggestions for any of the AUgust prompts!

“Unacceptable.” 

“Come on, anija. It’s just an elective.” Hanzo was on his second hour of complaining, and Genji had stopped paying attention to him an hour ago. His eyes were fixed on his phone. 

“He failed me!” Hanzo grabbed the device from Genji’s hands and threw it behind himself, and his brother squawked in protest. “On a photography assignment!”

“First, he didn’t fail you,” Genji replied bluntly after failing to reach past his brother. “You got a B-.” 

“Considering the course material, that is practically a–”

“Secondly,” Genji interrupted. “If you’re so upset, just go talk to him. He’s got office hours, right?”

“I will not beg.” Hanzo sat straighter so that he was in a better position to glower down at Genji. 

“I’m not saying that you should. Just ask him how to do better.” 

“The fault is not in my work,” Hanzo protested. “It is in–” 

He didn’t get to finish. 

Without warning, Genji slammed into him, causing Hanzo to topple over sideways. By the time he had regained balance, his brother had grabbed his phone, and had cleared several hundred metres. 

—

Two hours later, Hanzo was losing patience yet again. He had been waiting at his TA’s door for a good 13 minutes past when the office hours started, and the man had yet to arrive. Grumbling, Hanzo took out his phone, prepared to express his irritation at Genji instead. 

“Well, howdy. Wasn’t expectin’ anyone to come by.” 

A tall man who was about his age was scratching apologetically at his head with one hand, and holding a cowboy hat with the other. 

Hanzo looked up with a scowl. “Your door clearly suggests that you should have. Starting at 2.” 

“Course,” the man acknowledged with a sheepish smile that made his eyes crinkle with kindness. Hanzo could suddenly hear his heart beating in his ears, and hoped that he was’t blushing to match. Luckily, the man turned to unlock his door. “Come on in!”

While most teaching assistant offices were sparsely decorated, every last inch of wall space was covered with photos. The desk contained several small frames with what looked like pictures of family. 

“Name’s Jesse.” 

Hanzo looked up to find his TA standing, hand extended. He shook the hand firmly and took a seat. “Hanzo.”

“What can I do for ya, Hanzo?” 

“I would like to inquire about your grading criteria.”

“Ah,” Jesse sat back in his chair. “The B-.” 

“You remember?” This reaction confused Hanzo. 

“Sure do,” Jesse nodded. “Agonized over that one.”

Jesse pushed a bowl of candy across the desk, and chuckled when Hanzo could not hide his look of distaste. He unwrapped one and popped it in his mouth. 

“There’s a lot of precision in your work. You clearly know what you’re doin’.”

“But?” Hanzo prompted.

“You didn’t follow the instructions.”

“Which were vague at best.”

“In that they only contained one criteria.” Jesse looked far too amused for Hanzo’s liking. “You were supposed to capture four different emotions. Kinda hard to do when you’re not takin’ pictures of people.” 

“That was not a requirement,” Hanzo huffed. 

Jesse nodded. “That’s true enough, but I had trouble seein’ what you were goin’ for. Woulda been much easier gatherin’ some friends and family together.”

Some small sliver of what Hanzo was trying to hold back at that comment must have slipped through, because Jesse looked desperate to apologize all of a sudden, but also like he wasn’t sure what to apologize for. 

“I prefer inanimate models,” Hanzo answered to save him from the attempt. “They are much more predictable.”

“And much less fun,” Jesse added with a wink, clearly trying to lighten the situation. Hanzo made a noncommittal sound, realizing belatedly that his hands were clenched tightly in his lap. He had come to discuss a class that he had taken on a whim, not to recollect past decisions, yet here he was again. 

“Maybe I could help?” 

Hanzo looked up to find Jesse peering at him with an undue amount of kindness and concern.

“With what?” 

“With whatever has you stuck.” It sounded as though Jesse was being intentionally vague. 

Hanzo snorted. “That will not be easy. I’ve been told that I am stubborn.” 

‘You don’t say,” Jesse hummed. “I’m up for the challenge if you are.”

Hanzo considered Jesse’s expression again, and found nothing but sincerity in his eyes. It was overwhelming, and yet he wasn’t even sure what was being offered. It was suspicious, baffling, and yet ultimately intriguing, all at once. Perhaps this is why Hanzo found his answer so quickly. 

“Alright."


	6. AUgust Day 3: Single Parent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse is worried about the little girl sitting with a hipster man who doesn’t look like he could be her father. He investigates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> This one turned out unexpectedly (pleasantly so)! Because of course Hanzo would have a kickass daughter. I hope you enjoy it! <3

“Somethin’ ain’t right,’ Jesse muttered to himself while sipping on the last of his soda.

He had been observing this man at a distance for half an hour now. He had started because the man was incredibly good looking: he was dressed in a casual green jacket with a loose collar, his hair tied back neatly to reveal a clean undercut, piercings catching the light whenever he tilted his head. More interesting though was the young girl sitting at his table in this deserted mall in middle-of-nowhere New Mexico. The two of them were in quiet conversation, and Jesse was having trouble reading their expressions.

There was a large plastic case that sat on the floor to the other side of the man, which Jesse recognized as a weapon case. There were also sizable bags on the floor, indicating that he was carrying all of his belongings with him.

There was definitely something shady going on, and that kid likely needed his help.

Jesse stood to refill his soda and walked by their table casually on his way back, intentionally tipping his drink all over the hipster.

The man sputtered and stood immediately, turning his head up to shoot Jesse the most beautiful scowl he’d ever seen. Why did he always fall for the mean ones?

“Real sorry about that,” Jesse grabbed some napkins and made a show of dabbing at the man’s jacket. His throat ran dry when he realized that there was nothing but pure muscle under those clothes, and Jesse had to pull back before he embarrassed himself.

“You should be more careful,” the man hissed.

“Look, why don’t you go get that cleaned off? I’ll watch the lil’ one for you. It’s the least I could do.”

The man squinted speculatively, looking Jesse up and down. Jesse wondered for a moment whether his instinct had been wrong. He was about to find out.

“Very well,” the man conceded. “Wait here, Ayumi.”

The ease with which the man had just left the girl in his care set off even more alarm bells. Something was definitely off.

As soon as the man was out of view, Jesse leaned in and lowered his voice. “Listen, you in any sort of trouble, darlin’?”

She blinked up at him.

“Is that a bad man?” Jesse tried again. “You can trust me. I’m with Overwatch.”

The girl remained silent.

“You keepin’ quiet because he’s dangerous? ‘Cause I can take care of myself if—HOLY FUCKING HELL!”

The girl had moved swiftly forward and slammed her head upwards on his nose. By the time Jesse’s eyes had stopped watering enough so that he could see again, she had lifted a small switch blade and was holding it like she knew how to use it against his neck.

“Who send you?” she demanded.

“What the hell are you—OW!”

She kicked him in the knee.

“Who. Sent you?” She repeated.

“Ayumi.”

They both turned to find the man had returned. His jacket was folded neatly on his arm, which revealed the tight-fitting t-shirt that hugged his sculpted form. Jesse swallowed hard. Ayumi noticed.

“Ayumi,” the man repeated with mild amusement. “What did I say about strangers?”

Ayumi pouted and her posture deflated. “No drawing blood unless we’ve confirmed that they are bad.”

“And is he bad?” The man asked in exactly the same didactic tone as a father might use to teach his daughter about taking too many cookies, or drawing on the walls.

Her pout depended. “I don’t know yet.”

The man hummed and he walked closer, leaning in so that his face was far too close for Jesse’s heart to take right now.

“Are you bad, Mr…?” he asked quietly, lowering his eyelids. Jesse could have sworn that he was being toyed with.

“McCree. But call me Jesse. And no. Well yes, but not in the way you mean,” Jesse fumbled.

The man snorted and drew back. He spoke to Ayumi in Japanese. The girl reluctantly withdrew her blade.

“I apologize,” The man bowed slightly. “Our lives are complicated, and my daughter and I are always on guard.”

“I’m the one who should be apologizin’,” Jesse admitted. “I didn’t think she was your daughter. She botched my ‘rescue mission’.”

The man laughed, and the sound made something in Jesse’s chest jump.

“If any petty kidnapper had attempted to take her, Ayumi would be have been able to take care of them easily.”

Jesse smiled at the underlying pride and affection to those words.

“So how can you be so sure that I’m not bad?”

The other man hummed. “Something in your eyes, I think.”

Ayumi turned her head up to regard her father closely.

“An assassin would not have observed us for so long before striking,” he continued. “He would have known his mark.”

“You’re expectin’ assassins?” Jesse frowned.

“It is nothing we cannot handle. Nothing we’ve not faced before.”

Ayumi reached up to grasp at her father’s hand, and the man looked down to give her a small smile. Jesse realized his tone must have indicated distress, and that she must have been trying to comfort him.

“Listen, I’m feelin’ mighty embarrassed about all this Mr….?”

“Hanzo.” 

Ayumi’s mouth fell agape, and Jesse knew that the man had just given his real name, and that this must have been uncommon. All of a sudden, he couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing them again.

“Hanzo,” Jesse repeated, liking the sound of it already. “There’s a bakery close by, and if you got the time, maybe—”

Hanzo’s expression closed quickly, as though it were practiced.

“Thank you for the offer, but Ayumi does not like sweets.”

“Oh. Alright then.” Jesse knew better than to push, but couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

Ayumi looked between the two of them, looking somewhat annoyed.

“My father does though.”

“Oh?” Hope surged to Jesse’s throat.

“Ayumi,” Hanzo chastised.

“Strawberry and chocolate cake.”

“I bet they have somethin’ like that,” Jesse smiled widely.

Hanzo switched back to Japanese, his words quick and stern. Ayumi refused to yield.

“I like him. He’s nice even though I beat him in combat.”

Jesse was about to point out that she had surprised him, but decided it was better to stay silent. She was his only chance of Hanzo staying, after all.

Hanzo sighed. “Very well. Please lead the way.”

“Mighty fine,” Jesse beamed. He stood, and gestured for them to follow.

“Shimada Ayumi, what are you trying to pull?” Hanzo asked in Japanese once they had all started walking.

Ayumi shrugged. “I already told you, father. I like him.”

She was walking as quick as her legs could carry her, and Hanzo should have seen trouble coming. She turned to face him with a devious grin. “And I think that you do too.”

She squealed and sprinted away as he took off after her with fake anger.

“Hey now, y’all don’t know where you’re going!” Jesse laughed as he chased after them.


	7. AUgust Day 11: Mer AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mer AU where MerMcCree follows a song across the ocean. Originally written for AUgust, day 11's prompt!

It wasn’t just that it was sad. The sea was full of sad melodies: songs of lost loves, longing, loneliness.

No, what drew Jesse to this song, to the dark caves in the cold green waters that he had been warned never to enter was the way that it resonated with something deep inside his soul.

He followed the melody for days in a direction that few traveled, beyond the warm, colourful reefs teeming with life to the greenish-blue waters that seemed to absorb heat, to a dark opening that lead upward to a lagoon.

Jesse approached cautiously, poking his head above waters to find a cave of glittering black stone. The song reverberated on the walls, and that one heart string in Jesse’s chest sang out, desperate to join it. He began to croon unconsciously, joining the mysterious voice, and once he did, the original song came to a full stop, and Jesse almost felt his heart stop with it.

There was a splash to the far side of the cave, and the sound of something moving through the water. Jesse swam forward to a flat plateau of rock, and nearly jumped out of his skin when a creature leaped from the water in front of him onto the surface.

He was beautiful.

His dark blue iridescent scales shimmered in the pale moonlight, and he peered down at Jesse curiously from the most expressive eyes Jesse had ever seen. The black and white feathers at the side of his head alongside his gills betrayed him: siren.

In retrospect, Jesse should have known. But while few mers were foolish enough to follow a siren’s song, even fewer were strong enough to resist.

“Howdy,” Jesse tried, thinking it rude not to greet the stranger.

“Greetings,” the siren replied with a serpentine smile.

“Name’s Jesse,” Jesse grinned. “In case you wanted to know before you, ya know ate me.”

The siren’s eyes widened with surprise before he broke into a chuckle, to Jesse’s delight. The siren leaned forward. “Did you come here to be eaten?”

Jesse swallowed hard as the siren continued to size him up.

“Naw,” he shook his head. “But you called to me. And it seemed rude not to answer.”

The siren blinked. “You sought a siren’s song out of  _courtesy_?”

Jesse nodded, and blushed as the siren’s scrutiny grew more intense.

“You are a strange creature, Jesse.”

It almost sounded like a compliment. Taking courage in it, Jesse looked up again and gave the siren another smile. “What can I call you, darlin’?”

The siren was once again caught off guard. “You may call me Hanzo,” he decided after some consideration.

“Hanzo,” Jesse crooned, testing the sound of the name and finding that he liked it.

“So you like my song, Jesse?” Hanzo leaned forward to purr. Jesse was pretty sure he knew what was coming next, but there was an odd look of hesitation to Hanzo’s expression, despite his body language. Strange. He’d never heard of a siren *not* wanting to catch its prey.

“Mighty pretty,” Jesse nodded, swimming closer. There was no escaping a siren, after all. At least he could get a closer look at the creature before he died.

Hanzo blinked at him, confused by his approach. Nevertheless, he began to croon in invitation.

Jesse frowned. “Naw, not that one.”

There was a long pause as they regarded each other with even more bewilderment.

“I beg your pardon?” Hanzo finally managed to sputter.

“That’s not the one I like,” Jesse tried to explain. 

“You do not get to *choose* whether you like a siren’s song,” Hanzo protested. Clearly he had never seen this reaction before. He seemed almost offended.

“I mean, that’s real pretty too,” Jesse added hastily, feeling bad. “But it wasn’t what drew me here. You were singin’ somethin’ else when I arrived.”

Hanzo snorted. “That song was not meant for you.”

“No?” It was Jesse’s turn to be offended. The song <i>had</i> felt like it was meant for him.

“It was not a trap song,” Hanzo explained. “I wasn’t hunting.”

“What  _were_  you doin’ then?”

“Not hunting,” Hanzo repeated stubbornly. He pulled back and crossed his arms more tightly under his body.

“Well…could you sing it again?” Jesse asked hopefully.

“Why?” Hanzo tilted his head.

“Dead mer’s final wish.”

Hanzo snorted at the reply, but closed his eyes and began to hum.

Once again, the melody wrapped itself tightly around Jesse’s heart, but instead of constricting, it felt like his heart was vibrating, about to burst.

 _Lonely,_ Jesse realized.  _It was a song of loneliness._  

That’s why it resonated so well with what he was feeling.

Jesse leaned in eagerly, and began to croon. It wasn’t the same melody exactly, but seemed to compliment it perfectly. Hanzo opened his eyes, blushing in surprise. They sang together, tentatively at first, unsure about why something—someone so unfamiliar was able to harmonize so well. The tune became more confident, and the melodies intertwined effortlessly, turning a song of loneliness into a song of joy.

As the first movement ended, they finally realized what it meant for them both. Hanzo slipped almost shyly into the waters beside Jesse, and reached for his waist.

“You came,” he murmured, leaning in so that their noses touched. “Not for the song. But for me.”

“Course I did,” Jesse hummed, prepared to close the distance. “You called to me.”

And it was rude not to answer.  


	8. AUgust Day 13: Fake Dating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fake dating AU where…um…Lucio’s favourite colour is blue instead of green. Yeah. AU… >.>
> 
> Fake dating AU scenario where McCree, Hanzo, Genji and Lucio have gone undercover at a fancy dinner. And it’s okay to be a Shimada in public. And Genji is a little shit. Background Gencio.
> 
> Written for AUgust Day 13 (fake dating).

If there was one thing that Jesse McCree knew he could count on, it was that some cosmic force definitely found his suffering amusing. If there were two things that Jesse McCree could count on, the second was that Shimada brothers, when put in competition, didn’t know when to stop.

It was just his luck that both of these things decided to coincide in the worst possible way (likely because of the first).

Overwatch had sent out an undercover team consisting of himself, Hanzo, Genji and Lucio. With Lucio’s connections, they were able to put their names on the list of an exclusive dinner that was said to be patronized by Talon council members.

It was *already* bad enough that they were pretending to be double-dating. Half an hour into the evening, Genji witnessed Jesse’s discomfort at being so close to a man that he had admired for so long from afar, and decided to make it much, much worse.

It started with a small touch on Lucio’s arm. Lucio jumped with surprise, but his features softened when his smile met Genji’s. He threw an arm around Genji’s waist and they continued their conversation.

Hanzo’s eyebrow visibly twitched.

Later, Genji went looking for a drink, and returned with exactly the drink that Jesse had seen Lucio order dozens of times for himself.

“Just the way you like it,” Genji purred. Lucio blushed. Cameras flashed. Hanzo grit his teeth.

“Brother, where is your date’s drink?” Genji mentioned in a way that was too casual to be casual.

“What are you doing?” Jesse pulled Genji aside to hiss after Hanzo had stormed off.

“Helping,” Genji shrugged.

“This is not. Helpful.”

“How long have you been mooning over my brother? Don’t even bother lying McCree, I know all of your tells.”

“That ain’t important,” Jesse growled back. “I’m not about to jeopardize our friendship over—”

“You know who you sound like right now?” Genji rolled his eyes and huffed an impatient sigh. “Someone who promised to kill me a second time if I ever told you how he felt about you.”

“Don’t tease me ‘bout this,” Jesse warned. “Some jokes cross the line.”

 “You two are absolutely hopeless,” Genji waved him off, and returned to Lucio’s side with a wide smile.

Jesse was about to chase after him when he felt an arm slide over his shoulder and wrap itself seductively over his chest.

McCree felt Hanzo’s words at his ear before he heard them.

“Thirsty, my darling?” Hanzo murmured.

It took all of his Blackwatch training not to jump right out of his skin. He turned to find Hanzo standing far too close, peering at him with affection.

“As fuck,” he answered before he could stop himself.

Hanzo chuckled. “I am sorry to keep you waiting then.”

Hanzo’s other hand was in front of him, holding a glass of bourbon, no ice.

Just how he liked it.

“Thank you kindly,” Jesse managed with a small smile, knowing that Hanzo could likely feel how he heart was threatening to beat out of his chest.

Hanzo hummed, and gestured for him to follow. They made their way back to Genji and Lucio. Genji was looking all too pleased with himself. He laced his fingers with Lucio’s as they kept walking and shot his brother a look. Hanzo took Jesse’s hand without skipping a beat, although Jesse’s heart definitely skipped one.

This was going to be a long night.

—

An hour later, Jesse wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

The Shimadas had started an all-out war of affection, and while Lucio seemed to be enjoying the attention, Jesse felt like he was moments away from losing his mind (or at least, of losing control of *other* bodily functions).

Luckily, the two of them had disappeared, giving Jesse some reprieve.

“You okay, man?” Lucio leaned into ask.

“Far from it,” Jesse snorted. He decided to change the subject instead. “So how long you been goin’ out with the ninja?”

Genji may have been a trained operative, but Lucio was not. His affection was definitely not feigned. Lucio was unfazed, however. He grinned.

“Couple weeks. Figured this was as good an occasion as any to try it out in public.”

Jesse nodded.

“Hanzo seems to really enjoy spendin’ time with you.”

McCree could tell that Lucio was being cautious, but didn’t like where this was going all the same.

“Naw, it ain’t like that.”

“Why not?”

The earnesty of the question caught Jesse off guard. He turned to face Lucio, expecting to find that Genji had taught his new boyfriend his shit-eating grin, but only found genuine curiosity.

“You two get along real well. He seems to like you best out of everyone.”

“That’s still a far walk from wantin’ to date me,” Jesse pointed out.

“Is that something you know for sure? And if not, what’s the harm in trying to find out?”

Once again, Jesse didn’t detect any humour in Lucio’s words—only a candid kindness. That was something that McCree wasn’t used to.

Luckily, Genji chose that moment to return, saving Jesse from having to answer.

“Got you some food,” Genji purred, leaning into Lucio’s space. “Open.”

Lucio obliged, tilting his head back slightly so that Genji could carefully slide a mini cake into his mouth.

Lucio hummed, pleased.

Jesse paled, seeing that Hanzo was marching back towards them, a plate in his own hand. Hanzo sauntered into Jesse’s space. “Such an oversight on my part,” he whispered, lifting an hors d’oeuvre and pressing it towards McCree.

“Naw, thanks sweetpea, but I don’—armph!” Jesse had always been told he had a big mouth. Never had it served him so badly, so literally.

—

As the evening continued, and as the liquor continued to flow, even the elite began to let their hair down. This was the opportunity that the team was waiting for: they positioned themselves in a key conversation with several couples that were once removed from the Talon council members, hoping that the alcohol would be enough to loosen their tongues.

It had worked spectacularly, and they already had more than enough intel to report. Which was why they were currently engaged in a conversation about public sex.

“I cannot say for certain whether we have or not,” Genji replied to the question from a stranger. Lucio was seated across his lap on their sofa, arms wrapped happily around his shoulders. “Lu has a reputation to maintain, after all.”

Hanzo snorted. He was sitting on a separate chaise, regal as a lord, and Jesse was admiring him while seated on the armrest, one arm slung casually over his shoulder and hanging over his chest. “The stories I could tell from your youth.”

Genji’s grin turned wicked. “Back at you, brother.”

“What now?” Jesse couldn’t stop himself from gaping.

“I wasn’t the only Shimada brother who knew how to enjoy himself,” Genji smirked.

“Yes, but you were the only one foolish enough to get caught,” Hanzo sniped back.

Jesse laughed. “My darlin’s got you there.”

All the air vacuumed out of the room for just a split second, and only the four Overwatch agents felt it. Now Lucio was *also* giving a knowing grin. Jesse could not see Hanzo’s expression, but could feel him stiffen ever so slightly under his touch.  

“Yes,  _your_  darling certainly does,” Genji agreed all too readily, shooting his brother a wink. Hanzo twitched, clearly on edge. Being a little too drunk for his own good, Jesse tried to calm Hanzo by rubbing circles on his chest, and he felt the muscles tighten immediately under his fingers.

While Jesse didn’t quite understand the look that Hanzo shot him, his body certainly did. He wondered whether it was getting hotter in the room or whether it was just him.

“So when was the last time  _you_  engaged in public sex, brother?” Genji asked nonchalantly.

“I do not remember,” Hanzo growled, keeping eye contact with Jesse. “But I can tell you the  _next_  time will be approximately five minutes from now.”

Genji’s mouth fell open and Lucio spat out his drink. The rest of their group whistled as Hanzo stood, lifting Jesse clear off the ground bridal style as he whisked him towards the nearest hallway.

Inwardly, despite being even *more* aroused than before, Jesse was relieved that Hanzo had found such an elegant solution out of the predicament.

“That was smart thinkin’ there, darlin’,” Jesse managed once Hanzo let him down in a small private room and slammed the door behind him. “Didn’t think I could stand that conv—armph!”

He was cut off as Hanzo lunged at him with a snarl, pressing their lips together roughly. Jesse let out an uncontrolled moan, which allowed Hanzo to thrust his tongue into his mouth and explore it thoroughly.

“Sweet Jesus,” Jesse managed once they parted for air.

“I have wanted to do that the entire evening,” Hanzo answered the unasked question, his lips stained bright red from their kiss. He seemed to be waiting for something. A shoe to drop, perhaps, Jesse realized. He smiled and leaned forward.

“And I’ve been waitin’ all night for you to,” he said before capturing Hanzo’s lips again.


End file.
